The New Olympic Sport

It has been warming up in this artic clime. With the warmth comes melting snow. The melting snow allows for the perfection of a new Olympic sport in the track and field portion: extreme puddle jumping.  At first this started out as a slight skip and hop to avoid a small stream of water, now it has become calculated and timed leaps over streams and lakes of water. 

snow...

I am not kidding. Foot traffic slows down as each pedestrian scans the perimeter for the best way to get around these large bodies of water. Some people will knock down the bank of snow and walk through three feet of snow instead of tread through the water. Others (like me) skip and hop to the islands of ice, hoping that you don’t slide off into the water. I’ve even seen a few of the more sportier people take running leaps into the seven foot mountains of snow (some sink a good deal) and climb up this mountain and fall over onto a car to avoid these “puddles.”

Not only does a pedestrian or the vehicle have to watch out for the Baltic Great Lakes and flying humans, but also boulders of ice falling from the balconies and roofs.  The other day I tried to outrun an ice boulder while walking on black ice… it was quite cartoonish, but I made it!

Of course, it is the artic, so these huge ice rocks and mini lakes freeze at night…

Today the sun actually came out! I was so happy that I wandered a park for over an hour, using my puddle-jumping skills to avoid the shadows.   I managed to get some pictures of the space program memorial.

Before heading to the park though, I went on a coffee hunt. Finding no suitable and affordable coffee in the area, I gave up and headed to MyMy (pronounced moomoo), a cafeteria style place where I can point to the food and say “Eta” (that).  My awesome deduction and Russian skills failed to tell me that that MyMy was in the basement and that the restaurant I was heading for was actually an over-priced Central Asian restaurant. How I could miss the fact that the giant cow print-paint was heading down the stairs is beyond me.

But I felt adventurous from the sun and decided to attempt to order central Asian food. I honestly had no idea what I was going for—except that it wasn’t chicken. So I ordered a coffee and pointed to a soup and said “eta!” I successfully managed to order goat rib soup (literally a goat rib sticking out of a soup bowl).  It was quite tasty with giant chunks of goat, peppers, onions, and potatoes.

I then went from there, probably reeking of goat, to my client. From that client I went to my four year old client. I walked into his bedroom to find him covered from head to toe in bright blue dots. Upon further inspection (he hugged me), I noticed the dreaded chickenpox (my roommate has not had them, by the way). So now I am a carrier, go me!  I am also paranoid about shingles. But, having already been contaminated, I played with the blue leopard child any way.

Dolphin Down

Red Square

                I have been here almost two weeks now. Feels like two months! The apartment is coming along, slowly. We now have internet. The dolphin faucet was taken out the day after I arrived because it shot water in all directions. Now, the shower head shoots water out of all the seams.  We have discovered the oven door does not latch. The washer broke last night and flooded the floor and doused the downstairs neighbor’s kitchen (and new wallpaper).  

                We met our downstairs neighbor because of this. Someone rings our doorbell.  My roommate opens the door and in bursts this middle aged man in his boxers and tank top. He was angry at first, but calmed down when he saw we were hurrying to clean up and remedy the problem. He was very friendly. I am always amazed who speaks English in this country!

                Oh and my other roommate finally has a door! After all that waiting and build up, it is just a cheap, plastic accordion door with a three inch gap between the floor and the door. So there is privacy, but he still can hear everything.  I guess it took the handymen several hours to install this door too.

                Yesterday we finally, after all this time of promising, made it to Ashan. Ashan is like the Walmart of Russia. It just too far away to go shopping before or after work. So, we had to go on Saturday. This is the same day that everyone else goes.  It was quite the experience.

                First, it is a huge warehouse. Secondly, the products were placed wherever there was room. So I found towels in six different places. You don’t know the price of anything, because the tags don’t match. Also there are fifty people and their carts piled into an isle that also is full of crates and pallets. While you are in this traffic jam, a forklift sweeps in, scooping up customers in its wake, to remove a crate or add a crate. You are only in the way of sales associates; they shove you out of the way and hit you with carts repeatedly until you move out of the way. I saw one sales associate hit a kid with her cart. The kid fell down and started crying. Everyone ignored the kid and stepped over him in their mad rush to get their bargains (which, like Walmart, isn’t really that much of a bargain).  My co-workers are in a constant battle of which is a better place to shop: Ikea or Ashan. I’m joining the Ikea side…

                It was great to be able to come back with home goods!  I finally have a duvet! The size was incorrectly marked, so it is too small for the bed, but I don’t care! I worked too hard and fought too many grandmas to get this duvet, plus carried it all the way to the metro and home! We finally have metal cutlery! And I bought some beer… again I chose a place with horrible taste in beer. 

On our way from Ashan to the metro, we have to walk through this ghost town. It is all new construction of bus stops and malls and government buildings. They are all empty, no people and no buses. There are four lane streets with only one or two cars at a time on them.  The only habited places are the Ashan and a yacht club, which has constant helicopter traffic, making walking to the metro a bit windy.

I guess I have been away from reality for far too long, because none of this actually surprises me. The only reason I know it is weird is because Kieran and Oliver talk about it so much and are so amazed by it.  They are the ones who stood in awe as I shouldered a big burly muscle-head out of the way of the beets. They stopped too take pictures of yachts parked alongside cars in a parking lot and the helicopter landing on the sidewalk. However, I did watch the dwarf sing and dance while his handicap friend played pirate music on the accordion on the metro… it was just too Eastern European.

Ok, I guess you all are wondering about my work. I teach privately, one on one every day but Friday. Fridays I go all the way across Moscow (about an hour on the metro) to an English academy.  I teach English conversation to 11 and 12 year olds. We sit in a café and talk. It is nice, but difficult at times. I have one talkative student who is into music, robotics, and nanotechnology, a student who “only likes to sleep” (her words), and one kid who has reached the age of not liking anything.  He gets along well with the barista who, judging by her attitude, doesn’t like anything either.

After  English convo, I head to the kindergarten down the street to teach drama to a group of students ages nine to thirteen. They are amazing kids so far, very active, very open.  They have just been studying Russian folk tales, so they had to tell me the folk tales. One girl told us “Little Red Riding Hood.” When her classmate said that it wasn’t Russian she said, “Well Little Red Riding Hood was bringing her grandmother some vodka! So there! Now it is Russian!”

I told them a Native American story. This story has Coyote, Man, and other animals as being one family. The reaction was hilarious, “Wait! What kind of family is this!?! Their mother must be crazy!” And when I finished the story, one student asked if coyotes are still alive and I said, yes of course. The student replied, “Amazing. They seem quite stupid.”  This is the end of my week…

                 I start the week off with a four year old boy in the center of Moscow. He is a spoiled little thing, but so cute. His mother, or nanny (cannot tell), is crazy. She has so much energy and babbles on and on in Russian. I have no idea what she is saying half the time and she has some kind of scheme that the child thinks is amazing. But whatever, it seems to work, and by the end of the day the child has spoken a few English words and hugs and kisses me goodbye.

                I go from there to a nine year old girl a few metro stops away. Her mother speaks fluent English and sits in on the lesson. Making it nerve wracking for all involved. But so far, luckily, the mother has had nothing but nice things to say about the lessons. I just think her daughter would be more receptive if Mom wasn’t around all the time.

                After that I go back towards home to an eight year old boy. He is quite active. The first day he brought out an English picture dictionary and turned to the ladies’ underwear section, demanding to know how to pronounce the words.  Also, he confessed his undying love for Hannah Montana.  Finally, at 8:30 I can head home.

St. Basil's Cathedral

                Tuesdays and Thursdays I get on a mini bus and go out of town to the dachas. These are where the wealthy ex-soviet workers live. I teach in a neighborhood behind the President’s neighborhood, so security is very strict and guns are trained on you at all times. The houses are quite unimpressive on the outside, but stunning on the inside. Every room has a chandelier and some stained glass, expensive hardwood furniture, etc.

                One client has a driver, so he comes and picks me up to take me to the next neighborhood and next client. This house is bigger and even more impressive. There is a wing for the help. There is an indoor pool, a bathroom especially for the dog and cat, and my student has a jungle gym in his room. These students are only 11 and can speak English fluently. So fluently in fact, the boy often uses “Man, what the hell!?!” and informed me that in America, when Mom is dating someone other than her husband, this boyfriend is referred to as “Uncle.”

                By the time I finish with this client, the buses have stopped for the night, so the driver takes me all the way back into the city to the metro. This is my favorite time, because I can sit back and watch the snow-covered aspens. It is so incredibly flat everywhere in Moscow, that it is amazing when I come out of the city and find rolling hills. Which, one day I learned are quite steep.

                I went with a co-worker who was supposed to show me how to get to a client’s house. Well, he got off on the wrong bus stop. Instead of waiting for the next bus, he charged on ahead. I will have you know, he had no idea where he was going. So we hiked over the hills (in three feet deep snow), crossed a frozen river (so freaking scary!), and walked along neighborhood walls with guns trained on us. I was not a happy camper. He was so shocked that there was no wifi for his GPS that he got lost. Miraculously, my survival instincts took hold and I got us out of the woods and amazingly, to the client’s house and only five minutes late!  Now I know that if he thinks walking is a good idea, to just let him go and I’ll wait for the bus.  

Whenever I drive by with the driver, I point to the woods and say, “I walked there” and the driver looks at me in amazement and goes “Silly American girl.” (I think this is the only English he knows). The driver tried to teach me how to drive too. He showed me how to start the car and put it into gear. He and his co-worker put me in the driver’s seat one day and showed me how to start the car. He was amazed when he discovered that I already know how to drive!

Wednesday is the same as Monday. So every day is a new adventure thanks to my crazy clients.  I think I will enjoy them more after I have kicked this “epidemic” that has spread across Moscow.  

Welcome to my Moscow Flat

Once in Moscow, we arrived at a very snowy (about two feet of snow, thankfully shoveled, kind of), mint green neo-classical metro station sporting a plaque of Stalin leading the troops. Somehow my co-worker found his way through the maze that is the metro station and got us onto the train. The trains are not like any metro I have seen before and quite different than Seoul and Busan especially.

My apartment is just off the metro, but one must walk through a maze of pharmacies, banks, and apartment complexes to reach it. To reach my apartment on the seventh floor is quite the process. First you must use one key to get through the heavy fire doors, go through another set of fire doors, up some stairs to an elevator (it really shakes and rattles), then use another key to open ANOTHER fire door, and then the key to open our door. Makes up for no keys in Korea, I suppose.

The apartment is what I expected and not at the same time. I kind of like it. The apartment is very open and light with wood floors throughout. The hall opens with an archway sporting a horseshoe for good luck. To the right is the bathroom—tiled in brown and tan tiles with clashing linoleum flooring and the shower curtain has blue dolphins and the shower faucet is a silver dolphin. Next to the bathroom is the toilet closet --papered in 90s pastel pink and green Navajo design and the floor is brown and grey linoleum.  These rooms are protected by a dream catcher that has wolves painted on it—very Wyoming one-stop souvenir.

 The kitchen is at the end of the hall. There are big windows that bring in enough light. We have two rubber plants sitting on the radiator under the window. The cabinets are blue and very high—I will need a stool. The counters are made of wood while the floor is white, blue, and pink tile.We have a mini bar, with a drawer that pulls out to become an ironing board.

There is a dishwasher (doesn’t work). We have an oven, electric flat top hob, microwave, fridge (which doesn’t work) and a washer /dryer, but it is recommended we don’t use the dryer. The cupboard above the sink is actually the drying rack. Not too bad! Oh and the walls are papered in white paper with African ladies carrying water jugs while the backsplash is grey tiles with flowers and apples. The curtains are pink.

If you go straight from the front door and under the arch, you enter a hallway which is papered in 90s grey textured lines. We have some kind of weird painting of a woman wearing a mask and another woman holding a horse and there is a basket of teeth in it. Ugly. In the hall there is a sofa, just as mismatched as the rest of the apartment. Also, the flooring is a bit rotten, so there are brown linoleum rugs.

Two the left is the living room, which is now a bedroom. There is no door. There is a TV, but it is black and white and only plays the apartment’s security camera footage. Off this “bedroom” is a small enclosed balcony (un-insulated though).

This is my "Yellow Wallpaper"

Off the hall are two bedrooms. One doesn’t have a balcony, but there are nice big windows. The wallpaper isn’t so bad in this room, kind of grey. My room is hideous. I have nightmares about the giant, pink and gold flowers coming out the blue background to smother me.  I swear they move around the walls. On top of that, the curtains are this golden yellow satin with more giant gold flowers.

View from my balcony

Another view from my balcony

I have two radiators in my room, so it gets quite toasty. I guess this is because the door out to my balcony won’t close all the way and cold air seeps in, also because the balcony windows don’t close all the away. But I have a huge balcony, which will be handy for freeze-drying my clothes. 

Welcome to Moscow

Idaho decided to show off as I headed out Friday and Sunday.  Grangeville sent me away with bright blue skies, warmer temperatures (25 degrees), and no new snow or wind. Less than two miles outside of Grangeville, still with bright blue skies, a ground wind whipped the snow and ice from the ground, creating a bad ground blizzard. Trucks were off the road, and we had to take a detour on the old highway (which was shortly closed after we passed due to a slide off).

The wind continued to blow as we drove down the river towards Riggins. I could see several hawks and eagles riding the various wind streams. The wind also blew the clouds away from the Seven Devils, making the mountains and White Bird hill look as steep as they really are.

Snow covered the mountains, leaving only small patches of brown where the deer grazed for food. The further south we went, the colder it got. A small orange fox searched a field for food in 5 degree weather. Quail, grouse, and wild turkeys wandered the yards in one degree weather. Deer again dotted the hills, front yards, and fields.

Saturday was a day of shopping and visiting. I stayed up very late doing last minute packing and transferring files onto the new computer. I managed to get five hours of sleep before having to head to the airport. The plane was delayed half an hour to defrost it. We took off in a temperature of -3 degrees.

As the plane neared Salt Lake City, the sun was coming up, casting an orange glow onto the snow-covered mountain peaks. Low-hanging clouds blanketed the valley, further mystifying the scene. The peaks became lava islands jutting out of a sea of clouds.

I ran to catch my zone boarding call and waited several minutes trying to get to the back of the plane where my seat was. I sat next to a nice woman who was a flight attendant and her daughter who was turning thirteen. They were on their way to New York for 24 hours just to see Wicked and the Metropolitan Museum.  The woman spent the four hour recalling her flights and layovers to Moscow during the time of the USSR.

I said goodbye to them at JFK and made friends with a gate agent who kindly gave me useful instructions on how to get from one terminal to the other… who says all New Yorkers are rude?  I arrived at my gate to get my boarding pass and get shoved onto the plane and straight into business class! Thanks to the amazing reclining seats, I was actually able to get a few hours of sleep on the flight.

I ventured a look out of the window as we were preparing to land. Flat, flat, flat country covered with strips of frozen ponds and rivers, alternating with strips of snow-covered fields and dense forests. Among these were large fenced in farm houses in a typical collective-type town.

We landed safely on the ice-covered tarmac and the pilot got a round of applause from the passengers. We had to wait several minutes for a plow to remove the snow from our gate. Then I zipped up the arrival to passport control, only to wait 20 minutes to have four people go ahead of me. Then I went to baggage claim, to find that one of my bags was sent to Orlando and was now sitting in Paris, France.

This required several forms to be filled out, confirmation by custom agents, followed by more forms and more customs. By this time I had spent over two hours at the airport and still had not been able to contact my co-worker to tell him to wait. Thankfully, he did wait at the airport for me!

We took the express train into Moscow, approximately 30 minutes away. During that time, my poor co-worker looked like a comedy skit with two phones up to his ears trying to resolve some kind of conflict (switching between speaking Russian and English). I tuned out his conversations and focused on the industrial revolution red brick factories, old farm houses, manors, and Soviet-style buildings turned apartments in various states of repair. Also popular are rows of heavily graffitied tin garages (resembling storage sheds). My favorite example of the use of space and construction is to bridge the two rows of garages by placing an old train car on top and use it as an apartment.

Sending Off 2012 Santa Barbara

Aunt Clare and Grandpa were waiting for me at the train depot. I cannot believe it had been three years since I had been to Santa Barbara!

Thursday was spent visiting with Grandma and Grandpa and heading up to Aunt Mary's to see her grandchildren. I became jungle gym Carmen for a few hours as the kids discovered that I was bouncy and climbable.

Siblings!

Dominic arrived Friday morning. After two years, it was great to see him! I was felt so loved that he drove all night to spend just two days with me. We took it easy on Friday, letting Dominic rest and catch up with Grandma and Grandpa.

View from the break water

Saturday morning was beautiful between rain showers. So Dominic and I did our traditional trip to the beach. We had our morning coffee on the break water, enjoying the view of the city and the Channel Islands. Then we walked down to the wharf and the beach. Hunger struck and we went in search of fresh fish tacos--Santa Barbara needs a taco truck! We finally settled for a chain restaurant to avoid the over-priced touristy meals. But we got our ceviche, fish tacos. and cerveza with a view of the ocean.

We then drove to Aunt Clare's (mostly from memory, go us). Thankfully we got to visit with her for a bit.  A really quite, relaxed trip this time. Though, I wish I could have seen more of the family longer.

I arrived in Boise that night to freezing temperatures and more snow. Now, we have over two feet (a little over 69 cm) of snow. I've been out shoveling daily. I'm totally not ready for Russia...

Brrr

Sending Off 2012 Los Angeles

birthday cake!

Once in LA, Kamran took me to his office at the studios and we had birthday cake and breakfast. We then went to down to the Warner Bros lot where I got a private tour of the outdoor sets. I got to see the filming location of Heart of Dixie (it was also the Gilmore Girl and Music Man set). It was surreal to see the forests, houses, and cities. They were all scaled down, and just facades. I got a new appreciation for the work that goes into making films.

Hey, where is the rest!?!

We went to the costume museum. Audrey Hepburn really was tiny and Tom Cruise is really short. The whole upstairs was dedicated to Harry Potter. I got to try out the sorting hat, I now belong to Slytherin. I always knew I had an evil streak.

We then headed to the Hollywood sign and down to Hollywood Blvd. The star walk and Grauman's Theatre are not so exciting as you would think, but it was great to see it any way. We wandered around checking out footprints, stars, and tourists before heading to a Thai place for lunch. After lunch we drove downtown and walked around the sky scrapers.

And I'm stuck.

We finished off the night at a rooftop bar. Nice atmosphere, but the wind made it freezing cold! We suffered for a bit before the waiter (an interesting Australian guy who randomly did pull-ups from the awning above the elevator), showed us to the pool area, which was protected by the wind. This is where we discovered the water bed pods. Of course I sat in one and promptly sank and had to crawl and climb my way out--not so easy in a dress and heels!



At seven that evening, I said goodbye to Kamran at Union Station and road the train up to Santa Barbara.

Sending Off 2012 Part One

I just haven't felt like writing at all! Nothing much to write about until after Thanksgiving, and then it was a whirl wind of events. So here is a summery:

Most of the old gang

Some old university friends arrived in Moscow at Thanksgiving. After spending a quiet Turkey Day at Jessica's Mom's house and sleeping through the midnight madness, I had a nice leisurely drive up to Moscow.

It was great to see the guys again. Each night was a blur of get-togethers and fun, making it difficult to get around in the mornings. By the time I'd resurface, it was either too late to head to Grangeville, or another party was planned, and then winter commencement. So I spent 3 weeks in Moscow.

Some of "the guys"

I came back to Grangeville feeling jet lagged and quite lonely--going from a house of six plus people (and let's face it, little sleep) to Mom and Dad's (though it was good not to have to fight for the shower).  I spent a lot of time at Jess's, scrambling for last minute gift ideas (no Christmas spirit what-so-ever), wrapping presents, and babysitting.

Time seemed to fly by and before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve. I attended a couple of small family parties and then actually went to church, gasp! We woke up early on Christmas morning and unwrapped the presents piled under our tiny table-top tree. Then, we loaded up the car and headed to Boise. We arrived at Uncle Larry's to 30 degrees and snow.

We had planned on heading over to Grandpa's house, but I got a last minute call that altered my Los Angeles plans, and it took all evening to work out. By the time I figured out the Los Angeles to Santa Barbara trip, it was ten at night and I had to be at the airport by four.

The roads were terrible, and the temperature dropped to the teens, but we somehow made it to the airport! Mother Nature was kind to me and kept the rain that threatened Los Angeles away, so I could have a sunny and warm (sixty degree) day.