Tis the Season for Typhoons

Two typhoons in two weeks. The wind is at a minimum, just enough to wreak havoc on the already abused umbrella.  I found myself thinking like Forrest Gump, “We been through every kind of rain there is: little bitty stingin' rain and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways and sometimes, rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night...” Luckily, it hasn’t rained straight for four months…yet. But three days last weekend and four days this week is enough for me!  Was supposed to go on a hiking trip to Alishan, but the park has been closed due to landslides.


Nothing is drying out with all this moisture. I have already had to toss one pair of shoes because the mold set in right away. The windows have a nice sheen of mist on the inside. The clothes and paper have a distinct damp feel. Despite the colder temperatures (26 degrees C/ 78 degrees F), I’ve put on the dehumidifier on the air conditioner, but it hasn’t seemed to help.


On top of all that, I’m battling strep throat. I finally figured out what it was on Wednesday and demanded that I be taken to a doctor. But because my boss didn’t apply for the Alien Registration Card fast enough, I had no national ID and of course, no insurance. He thought it would cost too much to take me to the doctor. We fought and fought and fought until I stormed out to ask a TA to take me. But because the boss said no, she wouldn’t do it, but she took me to the pharmacy and demanded they give me penicillin. However, I’m still not functioning and it hasn’t occurred to me to ask a TA where the doctor is so I can go on my own.


After all that fussing and crabbing at my boss on Wednesday, I taught a two hour-long class. After which, I was too exhausted to carry on, my boss “graciously” sent me home after prodding from the TAs and co-workers. I stumbled home and attempted to sleep. Mostly I remember bits and pieces of “The Nanny Diaries” on TV and the “Jacuzzi” of the front of the tea box. I eventually got so hungry that I ventured outside. Somehow I made it to the store and back, despite the sea of nausea, neon lights, cockroaches, and smiling neighbors.


Sometime in the wee hours of morning I finally fell into a restful sleep, only to be woken at seven when the landlord decided to come and do some very loud handiwork. I gave up and went to work in the afternoon. 

Observation Week

The week after Sanyi brought Cheech the Cockroach into my apartment. I was having a lovely, relaxing morning before work when I felt an icky tickle and I looked down at my feet to see a cockroach running away. Naturally, I yelped and jumped out of bed. By the time I reached for a shoe, the cockroach had gone between the bed and the wall, and since the landlord is a thinking landlord, he bolted the bed to the wall. I stayed sentinel by the bed with my shoe, calling the cockroach all kinds of names, but he chose not to come out.

I slept terribly for the next few nights, waiting for the cockroach, but I never saw him. On Saturday I had a girl day at my apartment, another manicure! Then Sunday, as I prepared to go to Taichung with the girls, the cockroach jumped at me after I had gotten out of the shower. By the time I had dropped my towel and found the fly swatter, it had gone behind the wardrobe.

The next Saturday, still no cockroach. We had a birthday party for one of the TAs at my apartment. We had Pizza Hut and dark chocolate brownie… yum! I spent Sunday relaxing and preparing for Observation Week at work.

Observation Week is a special kind of hell. Basically the boss observes one class per day, sometimes two. But you have to arrive early to work (unpaid) and give him your lesson plan. Then you have a special meeting about your lesson plan that cuts into your lesson planning for other classes, so you fall behind. Then you teach your classes with the boss either staring at you from the back row or through a one-way window they have in the classroom. Then you have another meeting afterwards. So that was my week. On top of that, I had a final to prepare for and a Parent’s Day to prepare for. Also we had to take a trip to Yuanlin, Changhua County seat, to apply for our ARC. Needless to say, I was a stressed out wreck.

Wednesday I was in the middle of downward dog split when I saw the cockroach on the wall. I dropped and rolled and sprayed the wall with poison—missed him. I went back to yoga and saw him run across my bed (seriously?) and sprayed my bed with poison (yes I washed the bedding), missed again. He emerged under my desk, apparently the effects of the poison had taken their toll and he was wiggling in pain. I smacked him and put him out of his misery. I then relieved some stress by doing a victory dance. And like all wars, you have to take a photo of your kill.

I was a drooling bag of bones by Saturday. Monday was a bit more cheerful as payday rolled around, but it was a sad pay day because of all the “loans” I had “taken” out from my boss—basically, the landlord collects his rent a day early and comes before I ever get to work, so the boss pays him the rent and takes it out of my paycheck. Also the ARC fees were three times higher than quoted. Something I learned in Korea, never trust any quotes, even if they are supposed to be an authority on it.

The joy I felt at not having a particular class anymore was struck dead when I found out that I teach them in their new class. They are cute, sometimes. With only four girls—three of them pretty clueless most of the time—and twelve boys, it makes for a pretty active class. For the first time in teaching history at Inter, I had my hair down. One boy, I call him The Screamer, started screeching and pointing, “Teacher! Teacher! Teacher! Hair! Hair! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOTIIIIIFUL!” I think he has a thing for long, strawberry hair.  However, the cuteness soon dissipated. I have one kid who no matter what I do, is always in La La Land. So when I call on him to participate in a game, he is always late at reacting, and the other team scores, and then he cries. But he has never learned that he has to pay attention. As my TA says, “This class is, ummm, special.” In their defense, they have had at least three teachers in the last five months, so that is a lot to get used to when you are seven years old.

A Day out with the Boss

In front of the Sanyi Sculpture Museum

The week after the typhoon I went to one of the TA’s house for hot pot. A few of us girls gathered at the house and we scootered around town trying to find all the ingredients. I then sat back and watched the girls prepare the hot pot, since I am the foreigner who doesn’t know anything about hot pots! Instead I got to know the niece. We played grocery store for nearly an hour. I was incredibly grateful for the dinner call because there are only so many times you can buy the same four items!

After stuffing ourselves on two flavors of hot pot, we headed upstairs and had our nails done. The host TA had studied nail art so we got a free manicure. Then we took the customary half hour photo shoot before heading home. It is very hard to get four women, a little girl, and a little dog into the range of a Galaxy phone camera!

The next morning I had to get up bright at early for a Taiwan culture day out with the boss. My co-worker bowed out and so it was just the New TA and me with the boss. The boss wanted to show me how to take the bus and train. So we took the bus instead of his car. He remembered as we got on the bus that I had spent my first week in Taiwan riding the bus back and forth between villages. But this was the first time to ride the bus all the way to Changhua. Then my boss showed me how to take the train by walking to the train station (conveniently located behind the bus station-how amazing is that!), making me wait in the middle of the train station while he purchased the tickets and then leading me to the platform and not telling me how to tell which platform was which.

The train ride was over an hour long and on an older Korean underground train—so seating was limited and we had to stand. Half way through the train ride, my boss got the horrible realization that we were on the wrong train. So we got off at the next stop and talked to the conductor to find out that no, we were on the correct train, so we got back on.

When we reached Sanyi, a town famous for sculptures and furniture made from cedar and camphor wood, it was still early in the morning. It was already hot, and I really had to go to the bathroom. Nothing was open yet as it wasn’t the major tourist season for the town. No shuttle bus and the regular bus came once every hour, and we had just missed it. The wood museum is two kilometers from the train station. My boss decided to walk. It was a miserable five blocks until I found the forestry building, which was thankfully open on a Sunday!

After visiting and confirming the direction of the museum and shops, we headed out with renewed energy. I unfortunately brought only a small bottle of water with me, which was soon gone, especially at the terribly slow pace of my co-workers. Eventually we made it to the street with all the wood shops.  Quite beautiful stuff, but nothing any average person has room or money for. Each shop smelled of cedar and camphor—to the point of being nauseating. My boss drug us into each shop and the TA and I walked around stiff as boards afraid we’d knock some ivory or jade figurine off a shelf or accidently knock a flower off a wooden sculpture.  It was quite stressful! The highlight was when the TA and I snuck away for five minutes and enjoyed a large Buddha overlooking a car park with the mountains behind him. MOUNTAINS!

Then we got smoothies to cool us down. My boss and the ticket booth ignored the “NO DRINKS” sign, and we went into the art museum, had our tickets taken, and then told to wait in the lobby until we finished our drinks. The boss was the first to finish, so the TA and I had a massive brain freeze for the first floor of the museum.

I am not a fan of art museums and this was an art museum. It was neat to see the more traditional art with wood cut as thin as paper. I liked the art from the native Taiwanese tribes. There were blasts from the past with Andong masks. This museum is obsessed with Japanese art, and I find Japanese art to be just weird—it is dominated with misplaced, abnormally large breasts and giant penises, oh and also terrifying looking, sexually charged children.

By the time we got out of the museum the tour buses arrived at all the restaurants. So we had to hike one kilometer back towards new town to find a noodle place, which was so full we had to sit in the back without a fan. We then hiked the rest of the way back to the train station, where we actually got to sit the entire way to Changhua! When I arrived back home I realized I was dehydrated and sick, so I spent the night trying to drink electrolytes and eat watermelon and bananas.