Korean Pie

Since teaching a gaggle of middle school girls, I have become inundated with Korean dating information. I thought I’d share some of it with you.

Korean teens aren’t allowed to date, so of course sneak around. Somehow these kids find ways to see each other between school, academies, and family get-togethers. Because it is forbidden, their young romance seems ten times more involved than that of western kids at that age. These girls can tell you down to the minute how long she has been dating a guy. Two of my students have been dating for over a year—they are 13—and feel very deeply for each other.  Two other students have quit the academy because their parents have found out about the relationship—the girl has presumably been shipped off to a convent, and the boy has been forced to change academies.

It can be very difficult for both parties during a relationship. Females are told from day one that they must have boyfriends. They feel a terrible sense of failure at being single. I think the boys feel it to, but not to the extent that girls do. In some ways, I think the boys find it a terrible relief not having a girlfriend, mainly because having a girlfriend here costs A LOT of money.

There is at least one day a month (the 14^th) which requires someone in the relationship (mainly the guy), to fork out money. Let’s start with the first month: Diary Day this is the day where a girl gives her boyfriend the diary she has kept the previous year (I’m assuming about their relationship). Some people say couples will give each other diaries to record their moments.

February of course is Valentine’s Day. Only, the girl gives the guy chocolate. He reciprocates the following month with White Day. May is Rose Day, Pickle Day, and Yellow Day all in one—basically you give your someone something fresh—like a rose or a fruit, not sure what pickles have to do with this. The next month is kiss day and hold hands day (because you aren’t allowed to do such horrid things in public). The man gets to fork over extra money in July on the couple’s ring with Silver Day. August 14^th is both music day and green day—so take a walk in the park followed by a night at an expensive dance club. September is the beloved couple’s photo day (the result of which will be slipped into the back cover of their phone case).

The poor guy has to fork over even more money in October, starting with the 4^th, apparently on that day you must get 104 roses, ten days later, is wine day and you must take your lover out for dinner. November has Peppero Day followed by love letter day.

Finally the boyfriend gets a reprieve in December with Hug Day and Dutch Pay Day. April is a break  from all this madness to feel sorry and advertise you’re single. It is called Black Day—basically you eat black food, like Jjangmyeon.  Many of the girls seemed to be in terrible spirits as they went off with their friends to eat this black, thick, sloppy food.

Between these holidays, buying birthday and anniversary tidbits, and the dates in between, how do parents not know about the relationships? How do young men manage to save enough money to purchase an apartment or a house--a requirement that must be met before the family can even dream about giving their daughter away.