How Many People Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

In the western world we have the light bulb jokes.  We tell them and chuckle. But here, it’s no laughing matter. It’s reality. So how many people does it take to change a Korean light bulb?

            

Well, first, I have seven light switches in my tiny studio apartment. It makes it nice and bright, but eventually one of the 30-something light bulbs is going to burn out. Curiosity caused me to unscrew one of the light fixtures to find a Christmas-light-like bulb held in by two screws. I know what you are thinking, WHY!?! Don't think about it, it will only cause your brain to overheat. 

The first bulb to go out was the bathroom light. Being a person from the western world, where any store has a whole isle dedicated to various light bulbs, I assumed that this light bulb could be purchased at the big shopping center. As you may recall in Matt's blog post, he took on this task for me. He took the light bulb to the shopping center and asked the sales associate for the light bulb. It was the wrong one. Luckily, they did take the light bulb back. So after wasting  several hours on this task, Matt finally gave up and asked maintenance. In the end, it only took one person to change the light bulb. But the question remains, why does it take maintenance to change a 60 Watt bulb!?!

The next light to go out was the kitchen light. Placed strategically above the sink very close to the cabinets. I would have gladly ignored it, but it is florescent and does that whole blinky thingy. So 10:30 at night, I climb up onto the counter and set about trying to figure out how to get the apparently simple light cover off. After fifteen minutes, the light cover finally came loose, flying across the room and nearly knocking me off the counter. Then there was a mass of wires and electrical boxes inside the light--it cannot be a simple florescent light. After finally figuring out how to unplug the light. I tried to then put the light cover back on. The light cover is held onto the fixture by dime-sized magnets. But the magnets are not attached to the light cover in any way. So ten minutes of struggling to get the cover to defy gravity failed. Again I need maintenance or a strong man to hammer the light fixture to the ceiling.

So in conclusion to this riddle, it takes only one person to change a light bulb, if you just realize that you cannot be independent in this country and have to call for help.

In other complaining news, last month the school had the brick walkways redone. For an entire month the pavement was torn up. And carefully relaid and torn up again. The problem wasn't leveling, as all leveling seems to be absent and makes keeping your feet dry in this monsoon impossible. Also, they are redoing the walls around the building, taking down the white wrought- iron fence and building a "pretty" brick fence. Except, the brick layers seem to forgotten the spade to smooth out the grout and the brick fence can now be described as "goopy." 

This week has been English Certification Week. Basically, students memorize English and Korean phrases on a paper. I point to a Korean phrase and the students must translate it to English. If they translate three phrases correctly, they can go onto the Korean teacher who says the phrase in English and the student must translate it into Korean. This is always exhausting as you hear the same phrases butchered. But this is even more exhausting as you have thirty children lined up shoving each other, hitting each other, screaming at each other, and trying to give answers to the students taking the test. I spend more time trying to get the students to calm down for five seconds than actually giving the test. 

I also spend most of the time chasing away students who have no sense of respect for their teachers' possessions or space. As I am giving this test, students walk up and start going through my pencil cup, taking whatever they want, taking the scissors and cutting whatever is available on my desk (thank god I caught a student before cutting my new headphones), hitting the keys on my keyboard to see what I have up on the computer (and slamming the keyboard when the password prompt comes up), trying to pull my headphones out of the computer from the head phone themselves, oh and unplugging the monitor from the back. These are supposedly the wholesome Korean kids, mind you.

The rising water has forced the drunks to the top of the bridge.

As you can tell, today is a day I am done with the rude children, the USA shirts that are colored with Korean flag colors, the inability to wipe up urine and poop, and just the general confusing Korean attitude of desperately trying to make a dime and not caring how many dollars they lose trying to make that dime. Perhaps the fact that the sun hasn't shown in a week and the rain hasn't stopped for a day and a half has something to do with my attitude.