Santa and his Elvis

I just have to post this on my blog. More classic Konglish (I can do this because they poke fun at my Hongul). You may have read on my FB status that there is an English camp class called "Venus" and many students have trouble saying "V" it comes out a labial-dental "we" or soft "pe." And in poor Venus's case, it is called "penis" haha. And while I am in stitches at the kids and teachers talking about "penis class" or "team penis" they are all stone serious, which makes it even more funny. I really should correct them, but it is so hard for them to say v, that I'd only make them embarrassed --plus if I told the teachers that this whole time they have been talking about a body part associated with *whispers* S-E-X, well, they would die, go to church and pray for hours, and die again.  

Also the word "elves" is a bit difficult for them to pronounce. Again with that blasted "V" It comes out "Elvis." Naturally upon first hearing my co-teacher pronounce the word I pictured Elvis in red tights, green shorts, pointy shoes, and a bell-tipped stocking hat. It put a whole new spin on Christmas for me. I tried to get them to work out "elves" but failed miserably and accepted the fact that "Elvis" will always be helping Santa Claus.

Apparently, I am not the only one! "Studio 4 East" has pictured it too!

Another hard letter to pronounce is "F" and I bravely (or shall I say foolishly) decided to teach them that Santa "stuffs stockings" on Christmas. Apparently  I didn't try to teach them to stuff a turkey at Thanksgiving. But "stuff" came out as "stop" So Santa "stops stockings" on Christmas.

Also I taught a couple of the advanced sixth grade students "Bah, Humbug." Only, my co-teacher didn't give me enough time to fully explain it's meaning. So the students took it to mean "no." As they left the classroom you could hear "Bah, Humbug!" being shrieked. And for the rest of the day I could hear it being screamed in the halls (presumably as one students is being tackled by another). At the English camp orientation, my co-teacher asked a question and it was answered by a couple of "bah, humbug"s. This got one teacher pretty mad. One of my 3rd grade students called me over and whispered in my ear, "Angry-Teacher needs a nap." There are some days when I swear these kids are going to kill me with comedy.

Food, Glorious Food!

Today was the first day that I got noticeably homesick. I've been homesick up and down since coming here. But today, it was pretty bad, only at least it was a happy homesickness. My teachers and I went to the Outback Steakhouse. I was looking forward to some familiar food, only there weren't too many familiar items. What seemed like a normal bowl of pasta had squid in it (it was still good though). There was no blooming onion, I am sad to say. But they did bring out the brown bread, only this time it was served with not only butter, but mayo, chocolate syrup, and raspberry jelly (I'd call it syrup too). I chowed down on the bread and syrups, being the first syrups (other than maple flavored pancake syrup) in six months. Then the waiter brought cheese fries--I can find these almost every where, the typical fries with melted cheese and bacon (some places even add sliced almonds--a yummy addition). But this time it was served with a bowl of ranch. I had almost forgotten such a dressing existed! Oh how I missed Jess at that moment!

 And it occurred to me, I must be eating really damn healthily!

We had rare steak (reminded me of Wayne and Chris H's steaks), candied sweet potatoes (instead of a regular baked potato), a type of mizithra pasta and a tomato sauce pasta (both containing squid). Don't worry Mom, I didn't touch the tomato one.  So together all five of us put away five loaves of bread, five cups of mushroom soup, a steak (only a bit over 8 oz), sweet potatoes, two pasta dishes, and a heaping platter of fries. And still they told me I ate too little! But they also made me drink a mug of mangoade, a sprite, and a cup of green tea. Thank "got" the bread had chocolate sauce, or else they would have forced desert down my throat.

I guess this makes up for the rotten sweet potatoes I found instead of breakfast, and the smelly fish lunch I couldn't eat today.

This wasn't counting tea time when I drank two cups of ginseng and ate some cookies while listening to how Korean business men spend their evenings with co-workers (not too much different than American men do with the drinking and call girls and what not).

And dinner was bolstered by various tellings of sex scandals (not theirs) and my teachers learning about sex and all that fun stuff. It was more hilarious because two of the teachers refuse to say "sex" and turn bright red at the though of the word, but they'll still talk about it in a round about way. And if one of the younger girls tries to translate to me,  the older teachers stop and get embarrassed. I missed a lot in translation, but the facial expressions gave me enough entertainment. 

Making School Supplies Fun

The thing I really like about Korean schools is the fact that the kids always have some awesome gadget. Almost every child has some sort of Angry Birds paraphernalia, like a pencil, pencil case, eraser, etc. Angry Birds is a computer/ Iphone game for those of you who don’t know. 

 

One student has a pencil case shaped like a school bus, with real wheels, and when you pull the string, the pencil case goes flying off the desk (of course I played with it). More common are the pencil cases disguised as stuffed animals, banana splits, éclairs, and I saw a Cookie Monster one too! Erasers are shaped like anything, like they have always been. Many times there are pens of pencils in the shape of a syringe. I’ve seen pencils shaped like candy. Pens the light up and some pens that make noise when you write. But today, I saw the coolest thing ever. I will go on a hunt for this later! Chopstick pens. They look like training chopsticks, and I wondered why my 6^th grade girls all had training chopsticks. And when I asked, they all unsheathed pens! It was amazing. Chopstick turn compass! What will they think of next!